Monday, November 24, 2008

the piles get higher


I had piles and piles of things all around my room
and I don't collect things or horde
it was an avoidance to deal with my life
so by cleaning the mess in my immediate surroundings help the mess that happens to be my life?

I am one broken lady
that sits at the bottom of the bit
I am broken
but something that is different than the rest of these times
is that i don't feel alone.

it's that i almost catch myself
when i want to say that i might be
but I am not
and I know that is the truth.

What the truth holds is something of an unknown
and I feel so broken
and the path is not in a place where it is easily found.

and so life continues....
and I hope I don't bury myself

because those clothes
mimic the fears
i dress myself everyday in.

Sunday, November 2, 2008

i am a feather in the wind


I rarely post about my spirituality in a way that is so transparent. Usually you need to read between the lines a bit. I don't ever want someone to think they have to be force fed spiritual beliefs or language so I will make this brief or the most me I can think of.

Tonight I feel like my right eye has been revealed some new truth which often time is just recycled old truth.
I am a good woman.
I am smart and gifted and talented and I have something to say.

I need to be true to myself
and to others
and not hide.

I can say that grief
the kind that sneaks up on you in the middle of happy
can make a tear come to your eye
because you can't share it with them
is also the same grief that strips the last of your
inhibitions

I am strengthened by prayer
and by hope
hope that I can't explain in words
just feelings

I am going to make some moves this week
like vote for change
and apply for jobs
and write
because that makes me oddly so happy
and see beautiful friends
who have also taken bold chances
and risk love for Love.
and maybe i will do the same

Life seems to be full of possibilities
and God seems to be bigger than i
have imagined or often times lead to believe.

I am amazed by hope and challenged by love.

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

seasons


For some time now I have felt like I have had a boulder on my chest and stomach.
There was nothing I could say and there was even less I could do.
I was really good at going through the motions.
I am becoming a pro.

but deep down I am hoping that life has more to offer
and I will take all the advantages it hands to me
and some days are hard
and others are even harder
but you know that you can rise above the sadness
and one day see the beauty of it all.

I hope that life shows me more than the same pattern I have been living in.
Pain and heartache
pain and heartache
laughter
smile
trip



pain


smile.

i could write today.
that is a good feeling.
and the seasons are changing
so it doesn't seem so alone
that I am changing as well.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

my mother.

I wrote and spoke this at my mothers funeral. It is in tribute to her:

I am truly honored and humbled to be before you today, the daughter of one of the most amazing women I have ever known. I realize that I may be biased because of my relation to her, but I can honestly say after yesterday’s funeral visitation, I know that I am not alone in these sentiments.

Kristy Kaherl was a daughter, sister, wife, mother, and friend. There are so many words that define this woman and yet sometimes words are never enough. This woman I get to call mother was a friend to everyone that she met… A random person on the street, behind the McDonalds drive-thru window, in church, in a school, in the doctors waiting room. She had a gift of being to ask you questions about your life. The answers were important and you then became an instant friend. I have been told that people were confused by this kindness, could she really be that nice? All I can say is that she was. She was the definition of kindness and compassion. Living out the ideas like hope, faith, and love.

Her eyes sparkled with joy, they danced with wonder and amazement. She always found a way to turn any situation into something that could be smiled at or better yet… laughed with. She would do this thing where she always talked with her hands, or do little dances. She was supportive to everyone and always SO brave. Brave in the way she fought year after year against the breast cancer. Brave to follow her dreams, goals, and aspirations. Brave to wake up every morning and find the good in everything and more important everyone.

Some of her accomplishments include the following: She received her bachelors’ degree in 1971 from Michigan State University, master’s degree in 1973 and Education Specialist in 1981 from Wayne State University. She was awarded Teacher of the Year in through Utica Schools and highly recognized for her work as an Administrator in 2001. She was awarded Mother of the Year at Bethesda Christian Church in 2006. The programs she started and the people who were influenced are numerous.

My mother was an absolute blessing. She always wore a smile on her face and she always had a diet coke in her hand. What we saw on a daily basis was strength, faith, love, and unending hope. Her faith was so strong. She always knew that God’s hand was on her life. She believed that God was moving, her strong tower, and her strength. God would fight for my mother and my mother would fight for God. All glory, honor, and praise was given to God because everyday was a gift. Each day was an exploration and she was so excited to explore it.

My mother was proud of her daughters Amy and Lindsay, loved Doug with unending love and support, blessed to be a daughter to Norma and Robert Bott, proud to be the sister of Bonnie Burns, loved being an aunt and great aunt, even if you weren’t related she may have been an aunt to you, and excited to be a friend.

Thank you for being here today and sharing this day with us. May we go on celebrating Kristy’s life.

Friday, September 12, 2008


I didn't know how else to communicate this.
I know this is so public but I am with great sadness announcing the death of my mother.
Thank you for those who have supported, loved, cried, and laughed with me.
It is a sad loss for those on earth
and a fantastic gain for those in heaven.

We are planning the funeral visitation for Monday September 15.
The funeral home is:
Visitation from 3PM to 9PM
Wujek Calcaterra & Sons
54880 Van Dyke Ave
Shelby Twp, MI 48316
Phone 586-677-4000
______________________________________________________________________
The funeral church service will be at 10AM visitation and the service at 11AM on Tuesday September 16th.
Bethesda Christian Church
14000 Metropolitan Beach Hwy.
Sterling Heights, MI
Phone 586-264-2300

with love and grace.
amykaherl@gmail.com

Friday, September 5, 2008

now that i have returned.


The trip was good
and the realness of the situation has presented itself 100%

I get overwhelmed with life
but never with love
the love of my mother
the love of my friend
the love of my father

and you see death in many different places
and you thin those emotions were fake
or unreal
or unnecessary

and then you have the same emotions
and you are traversed into a different space
where life and art coincide for sometime

I don't know if the rain was planned
but the overcast sky sets the tone for
something out of our control

i feel sad
but their is a glimmer of hope
and a desire to be able to trust myself
through this time
but I know i am not alone.
but this is tougher than i thought it would be