Top 5 Favorite Songs

I was asked tonight what my all time top five favorite songs were. Within moments I had three, a couple more i had the fourth, and the firth I am sure will be developed by the end of this post. The act of the favorite song is different than the all time top five favorite bands or the all time top five favorite albums. These three are ENTIRELY different categories and entirely different bags all together. I think music really relates to your soul and your feelings. I think the songs move you into a new space entirely or you will never get sick of them.

You can not judge someone for their favorite songs. This is different than the band...that is a matter of wholistic taste. Some of the worst bands can write a song that can change your life. It does not make them a great band or even a great songwriter. It just means they wrote something that changed your life.

My top 5...
Your Hand in Mine --Explosions in the Sky
(this song is utterly beautiful and the best song to think to as well as to drive to)

Sunken Treasure-- Jeff Tweedy
(This would be from the solo DVD and not from Being There Disc One. There IS a difference. I like this version better because of the openness and space that you can feel from the recording as well as the raw emotion).

Damnit-- Blink 182
(I am sure I just lost some points with some people but I am definitely okay with this. I remember when I was a kid in high school and hearing this song for the first time. I was sitting in my parents living room on the forest green couch. the video was illy and that beat was something I couldn't get out of my head. Let's just say that this song may have launched my love for music.)

Dreams--The Cranberries
(This song is beautiful and driving. It some how keeps me hopeful for something bigger than myself. I see a lot of simplicity and beauty and a whole lot of life. Call me crazy but then again I LOVE it.)

The fifth song is usually hard for me or the fifth of anything. It's the last straw or the icing on the cake but it is hard but if I cam going to choose one it will have to be....

The Trapeze Swinger--Iron and Wine
(It goes on all my mix tapes within the last year or so. There is something so beautiful about the line "I heard from someone you're still pretty" and this song has opened the door to some really beautiful conversations.)

If there are some Runners Up they would be
Wonderwall-- Ryan Adams cover of Oasis. Simple. Beautiful. Breath taking. Took something and made it beautiful.

That's When I reach for My Revolver--Mission of Buurma. Freaking Amazing

Sufjan Stevens--Chicago. The acoustic version live at Calvin College. It is so stripped down and is the back bone to all the other versions he has done. It is beautiful and i remember the first time I heard it it brought a tear to my eye.


So these are my thoughts. I would love to hear your list if you have one....

if you want to be alive.

You have to learn how to die...
if you want to want to be alive.
I got the opportunity this weekend to spend time in New York City. This in itself took almost two years to accomplish and extra hours spent serving mint mochas and pineapple soy smoothies. The weekend was short, a whirlwind of subway rides, blocks of high rise buildings, and the feel on your skin that the weather was changing from the final moments of summer to the crisp air of fall.

The city is breathtaking in the way that it is constantly moving and never stopping. That it works for the pedestrian rather than the automobile. It's interesting to be within a space that honors public, communal ways of movement rather than DEtroit or Los Angeles that works individually with the individual car moving one person at a time. It removes the sense of the private and moves you into peoples lives and conversations until you come to the next stop. These stories get off and the new stories of meaning and purpose walk into your life for a moment.

You can get lost in a space like this. Not so much in the physical sense but just the stories of life. Watching people move forward to their destination or in some ways get lost in the shuffle and just follow the person one step ahead of you. I think going to the city gave me a new appreciation of what it means to live, how I am living my life, and what I can be doing with my time rather than sitting at home some nights instead of exploring what is right here around me. Granted LA is not New York. There is a different identity here on the west coast (less European and hip hop infusion and more Beach Boys meets plastic surgery).

There were moments where I felt like when I was in London. When I went to Europe I feel in love with the culture, the way of life, the people. I could speak the language and for the first time my dress wasn't odd it was basically normal. It's not that I have bad taste, it's just that I don't wear polo shirts and khaki pants. I think dress and fashion is a lot of fun, something that can motivate you for the rest of the day and put you into a great mood. I think it expresses somewhat of an identity and says what you think of culture and what you think of the quote on quote popular. Though I live in LA I still got off the train and looked like I stepped into Hipster Land. Which it was and was fantastic.

All I can say is that I was inspired and hopeful for the future. When I returned back home to California I did feel a sense of home. So all that to say I am not packing my bags tomorrow but acknowledging that there is a lot to live and a lot of places to learn.

The Darjeeling Limited

Yesterday I was exhausted from the Halloween schananagins and decided that the time was finally now to encounter and embrace the new Wes Anderson movie. I have had a love affair with this director since I encountered the imagination and brokenness in Rushmore. I remember like it was yesterday seeing The Royal Tannenbaums, and being wide wide a few Christmas vacations stepping into the underwater world of The Life Aquatic. Anderson has the ability to transform the mundane into something other. It puts this little smile in my heart when the not common man encounters the normal and prevail.

Often times I get a response from people that they are not the biggest fans of Anderson; they just don't get it. There is something about confronting our brokenness, confronting the pain of what the American dream promised and then it doesn't work out. Those who have had a great family life might not understand the pain and turmoil of the family is a bit dysfunctional, something that Anderson has yet to escape in the exploration of the question. Darjeeling is no different as there are three brothers who don't really trust each other and try to get the most out of a journey for their runaway mother about a year after their father dies. The quest is to get the most out of the adventure, seek spirituality, and seek a way for the brothers to get along.

Interesting that Anderson would center this film on the spiritual quest, which I think is a touchy subject for some, but brought up some new truths for me. I think the film addresses our desire for an instant gratification, saying that I prayed for something to happen and why fourteen minutes later we don't see a response. They pray to anything, use anything, and seek for a spiritual result. What they turn to is a need for consumer goods, sex, or control. Each were the filler for the thing that they wanted more was coming to a healing space.

There is a beautiful scene where Owen Wilson takes off above bandages, he is utterly wrecked, gashes on his face still raw. He looks straight into the mirror and says...."I'm not healed yet." Wow, did that strike a chord with my own brokenness and the need to continually healed. I have taken the bandages off but yet the wounds are not as fresh but they still ooze from time to time.

Other than the story the colors were amazing, the music was superb, and the editing was spot on. The film was beautiful. It was interesting to read this article thought it held no real life situations though spent some time talking about the pain of Owen Wilson during the time of the filming (he attempted suicide), finding joy in small moments. If that doesn't seem like real life to me than mine must be fake. I have a lot of new thoughts on the theological meaning with our culture and how we want to deny it all. I will come back to this hopefully soon. Until then go see this movie. It will be worth the time.

To paint. To create. To make something from nothing or really something else.

It's interesting to ask the question of why do we create art? I think it's such a healing expression of who we are and who we are becoming. In some ways it solidifies ideas new and old as well as coming to a new understanding. The process for creating is often times an individual act. On Friday my friend Glo and I dared to ask what it would mean to create in community? I thought about who might show up and why someone would want to create with somebody else? It was an interesting outcome of maybe less than ten people showing up to share why they do art and create together. There is a sense that you can let go and hear what others have to say about your work but also ask questions and allowing yourself to go to those places.

It left me wondering if art creates freedom? When we put ourselves in the work are we displaying our intermost thoughts like a picture journal with limited words and actions? Those questions are left to an individual to respond. Yet, when there is a seminary-worth of people and a limited number of people who respond are we limited as well in our creative responses? Many people I know feel like they can't do art because they can't draw....me either. I think we can't limit ourselves at our limitations. I hate exercising but I can't let that stop me. I need to get creative and try something that is fun but also worth working the muscles that need to be stretched and pulled. Why are we afraid to create? I think just giving it a try loses nothing...

what youth culture can do to help us remember....

When I was 18 I decided that my life goal was to be a youth pastor. I thought that this would be a really great decision. Serving the Lord, helping kids, loving people...it has caused more trials than I originally thoughts, but that is a different blog. In the quest of youth ministry I feel in love with popular culture and in turn youth culture. I loved watching shows on the N like Degrassi: the Next Generation. I used to watch the first generation after school. I learned great life examples of why you shouldn't take acid (spiders!) and what happens when you have sex (becoming pregnant)....I found myself this Saturday, exhausted from work, in front of my television watching the show in syndication. It's a lovely little teen drama with interwoven relationships, pregnancy, abortion, eating disorders, and rebellion. Life seems so simple in the show or really complex....love, drama, heartache, pain. All the things that makes a teenager...

Teen culture is interesting. I love the questioning. I love the life experiences. I love the rebellion and questioning. Life isn't black and white though often it is processed that way. The show always leaves in suspension and i love how youth culture is always dated by the latest fashions and trends. What is great about the show it doesn't shy away from the hard questions and doesn't limit the love or the struggling with the conclusions.

With the prompt of Degrassi I decided to revisit The Adventures of Pete and Pete. A fabulous show that was on Nickelodeon when I was a middle school student. There are two brothers named Pete and they live in a universe that I believe hipsters currently live their life. There is desire for freedom but also the questioning of life and relationships and asking what is the purpose. What I loved is the show usually brought global issues like the hole in the ozone or the commercialization of christmas, or the need for math word problems. What was great about the show (which is quite a bit) is that they had so many great actors who are a bit quirky join them in their world. Steve Buschemi was Ellens dad, Jeanne Garafolo was a poetry teacher, Iggy Pop was Nona's dad. I mean come on what other show has managed to do that?!
I guess that I relate to the show because it seems that it raises issues that we still deal with. Issues that seem so important to living and what it means to live is to make the most of the opportunities that present themselves. To live almost in a world that is full of creativity, a great group of friends, and to question why we don't all have superhuman best friends named Artie, the strongest man in the world.

I guess I still live in that space where you can dream big and live in your imagination. Not the kind that reality is replaced but the kind of world where you can laugh at yourself but also turn back time and live in the same hour again. I don't know about you but that sounds like fun to me!

Searching for the Wrong-Eyed Jesus

I took an hour this afternoon to watch this documentary entitled Searching for the Wrong Eyed Jesus. A documentary about following the musician Jim White and the culture of the south. Focusing largely on the oddities of faith and following the goodness or the blood of Christ. If you have seen the movie Saved (Mandy Moore, Maculey Culkin) it sets up an interesting fictional portrayal about the Evangelical Right. This documentary has no fictional portrayals but stories of the inhabitants of a deep south. There are moments where you have to question to yourself if this can actually be real? There seems only two ways of living, well maybe three, either you go to church or you live in evil. Or you accept Jesus in your heart and then on sundays you go back to the Pentecostal based church and repent for your deeds. The religion seems to be religion, follow the rules, accept Jesus, live your life.

The music in the film is fabulous. The premise was surrounded by the fact the film makers received a Christmas gift of Jim White's Mysterious Tale of how I Shouter Wrong Eyed Jesus! The music is deep south, found on the swamps, and nothing to do with metal. On a deeper look there is the music from 16 Horsepower and the Handsome Family. The movie is interwoven with the music of the south, deep dark , mysterious, and oddly creepy.

I really loved this film because it is awkward and tough to swallow. There is a tough understanding of those who live in the small towns with nothing but tradition, a church, a jail, and an auto shop. If you are lucky a McDonald's or a KFC. Life seems to be small and simple and narrated by Jim White's view of the south. Something that he grew to love and find beauty in. There are moments where you wouldn't think that someone could live in these spaces but there they are in their lives and their understandings of how they got there and why they stayed. Sometimes shocking and sometimes you just have to laugh. Like when the old man shares a story of how when he was a young lad the family received a Sears Roebuck catalogue, inside all they saw was perfection, what they saw were people without fingers, sores, and brokenness. Within hours the catalogue was filled with no longer perfection but stories of disillusionment, chaos, love, incest, and relationships.

Overall the movie is worth seeing. The colors are dark, thought the shots and movements of the musicians are worth enduring the crazy south interpretation of faith and being saved. Beautiful snapshot of something that is not a universal idea but still someones way of life.

In Rainbows

My junior year of college I had the chance to see a laser light show of Radiohead's Ok Computer at the Grand Rapids Conservatory. It was really interesting and I remember that night really falling in love with what Radiohead offered sonically. Years later I feel asleep to Kid A and remembering oddly falling in love with Amnesiac. Now I am not really surprised as I love sonic noise and how you can manipulate noise to add texture or a message to the music. On Thursday I finally took the time to erase some space from my limited hard drive to make room for In Rainbows, the latest record from Radiohead

In Rainbows is a beautiful record. It is only ten songs, low quality MP3s, but from what I have been reading it seems as if it is just a tastey treat to wet the palate before the full length box set comes out in December. The record itself is a step back from the noise exploration and is VERY accessible. If you didn't like Amnesiac or Hail to the Thief (this one might just be a favorite of mine) this can bring you back to the Ok Computer days. It is very easy to listen to and is very distinctly Radiohead. Simple driving beats, multiple guitar parts, string emphasis, and beautiful simple drum parts. Everyone that I have talked to about this record can't stop listening. They just keep hitting play when the Ipod finishes off with 'Videotape.'

What's interesting about this one is that there is no cover art or liner notes. A friend directed me to this blog that has different designs for each record. This design is my favorite. Pablo Honey is fun and Amnesiac is fantastic (I think it's because I have a thing for library cards. The meaning behind this is still being determined.)

The reason there is so much talk about the album doesn't have much to do with the music per say but how the album is being distributed. You can't find it on itunes or going to the local Best Buy, you can only find it to download at their website and you are able to set your own price. I am intrigued to find out people don't want to pay for the record but get it for free. Others I have read have paid up to $300 for it. For me I just laugh because it is a huge middle finger to record companies and the market that jacks up the price for art (this is a whole other conversation!) that almost every single time the musicians never receive a penny for the music they made. It is often on the tour and the merchandise purchased at said concert. It's an interesting conversation. One I hope to hear what people are saying and what the outcome financially for the men in Radiohead. If you are interested in finding out what others are paying there is a survey you can take to see what others have paid for in rainbows.

Take the time to check it out if you haven't yet. You might not pay a thing but remember that this time the artist is getting the money for something they have made.