if you want to be alive.

You have to learn how to die...
if you want to want to be alive.
I got the opportunity this weekend to spend time in New York City. This in itself took almost two years to accomplish and extra hours spent serving mint mochas and pineapple soy smoothies. The weekend was short, a whirlwind of subway rides, blocks of high rise buildings, and the feel on your skin that the weather was changing from the final moments of summer to the crisp air of fall.

The city is breathtaking in the way that it is constantly moving and never stopping. That it works for the pedestrian rather than the automobile. It's interesting to be within a space that honors public, communal ways of movement rather than DEtroit or Los Angeles that works individually with the individual car moving one person at a time. It removes the sense of the private and moves you into peoples lives and conversations until you come to the next stop. These stories get off and the new stories of meaning and purpose walk into your life for a moment.

You can get lost in a space like this. Not so much in the physical sense but just the stories of life. Watching people move forward to their destination or in some ways get lost in the shuffle and just follow the person one step ahead of you. I think going to the city gave me a new appreciation of what it means to live, how I am living my life, and what I can be doing with my time rather than sitting at home some nights instead of exploring what is right here around me. Granted LA is not New York. There is a different identity here on the west coast (less European and hip hop infusion and more Beach Boys meets plastic surgery).

There were moments where I felt like when I was in London. When I went to Europe I feel in love with the culture, the way of life, the people. I could speak the language and for the first time my dress wasn't odd it was basically normal. It's not that I have bad taste, it's just that I don't wear polo shirts and khaki pants. I think dress and fashion is a lot of fun, something that can motivate you for the rest of the day and put you into a great mood. I think it expresses somewhat of an identity and says what you think of culture and what you think of the quote on quote popular. Though I live in LA I still got off the train and looked like I stepped into Hipster Land. Which it was and was fantastic.

All I can say is that I was inspired and hopeful for the future. When I returned back home to California I did feel a sense of home. So all that to say I am not packing my bags tomorrow but acknowledging that there is a lot to live and a lot of places to learn.