the beginning of something new

rain on the windowpane and a warm mug in my hands

I sat and listened to the rain today. I turned off whatever i was listening to and listened to the rain as I drank coffee out of a mug and read the Death of Modernism. I hoped the rain would ease my soul as i trudged through the difficult reading.

I realize that change happens a lot and I am glad that things do change. In my attempt at post lent I realized that stopping things doesn't mean running from them or just halting from their consumption. Sometimes it means putting your face right into the mess and starring at it with eyes wide open. You need to Test your feelings, try new angles, really looking at the issue without drowning the sorrow. I feel like I woke up and am seeing with new eyes. I wanted to stop thinking about ________ and I needed to think, pray, and indulge. The logic didn't make sense but that's how I made sense and eventually peace.

So I am moving on. I don't think I am ready to return to my indulgences but my relationship with the spiritual as wrapped me in a warm blanket and given me a mug to drink out of and the rain to listen to.

Tomorrow Rosie Thomas and Denison Witmer are playing at Fuller. With a bit of work the night should be great. I am really looking forward to spending the evening listening to the wisdom and also what seems like the melody of my past. I feel like these artists are such a large part of the history.

I pray that I continue to press on and press forward in love and ligh