hands in a box of beans.

What is the value and worth of senseless beauty?

Years ago I was introduced to the film Amelie. It is a beautiful film with brilliant color schemes, simple plot line, and a sense of wonder in a world that many days seems out of your own personal control. The last two weeks have seemed to be full of chaos. Heartache. Soul cravings and searching. It seemed so out of my hands, out of reach, out of touch. I choose not to do anything tonight. TO take a night for myself and sit in awe of what is my life or escape into anthers for just a couple of hours.

I have viewed Amelie I can't tell you how many times. I escaped tonight into her world and reevaluated my own life through the story line and musical pulse of Yann Tiersen. I am blessed by this movie. I saw something completely new tonight. I saw this flim with fresh eyes. With a new sense of my own life and story.

I think about the simple beauties in life. It helps me question what I value, what is my purpose, and what eyes do I choose to experience this ever so chaotic world. I have cried a lot in the last few days. Some for my mother, some for myself, some for direction, some for love and other tears for the lack of love. I don't know where my life is headed. If I could have written this is where I would be a month from my 26th birthday I would have never believed you.

I enjoy that my life interweaves itself with literature, movies, music, and art. I am grateful and blessed. There are days when i do not deserve it and there are days when I feel so lucky to be surrounded by these arts. I have been able to ask so many questions and develop a personality that breathes it all in, asks a lot of questions, and dances to whatever may be in the air.

Life is overwhelming. Life is mean. Life is simple. Life is a bitch. Yet can I take the time to see the small simple pleasures in life? Can I see the little girls holding the hands of their fathers? Will i be able to see ballons flying in their air with their owners standing wide eye as it is let go? Will I be able to see the flocking birds? Or leaves change color? Will I stand still long enough to see this happen?

Can I stand still long enough to see this happen?