2+2=2+2=2+2

These feelings are being tucked away
the feeling that you are about to puke
or cower under your covers

how can a three minute interaction
be so damaging
how can a phone call disrupt
a smile
or a laugh
how can it hold you in a holding pattern?

how long can I run in circles?
i am tired.
for so many reasons
and this being on repeat isn't
making it any easier.

i want to break out of these cycles
can you find me?
can you pick me up?
and steal my records
so that i might not hear this
one more time
or at least feel like i could listen to
something else
that i haven't heard before

but i can't
just like so much of my life
i found the holes in the snow
and following that path
rather than creating a new one

the sweater is getting a little to tight
and i am tired of it smelling
like yesterday
and the yesterday before this one.
can you find me?
so I can start new patterns?
i am running pretty thin.